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The grief companion
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Surviving the firsts
Which first are you facing?
50 specific firsts, the everyday ones and the big ones. Find whichever one matches what's actually happening, not just the calendar version.
Could this become something new? A small tradition or ritual, however tiny, that carries them forward differently.
What do I do with their stuff?
Which item or decision is on your mind?
40 specific situations, from a closet you can't open yet to family conflict over an heirloom. Find whichever one matches what you're actually facing.
Grief attack first-aid
Where are you right now?
Grief doesn't wait for a convenient moment. 40 specific situations, so you're never scrambling for what to do wherever it catches you.
Returning to work
Which part of this are you facing?
40 specific moments, from telling your manager to negotiating flexibility months later. Find whichever matches where you actually are.
Write freely about what this brings up for you.
If it would help, draft your own version of what you'd want to say, in your own words.
Talking to kids about grief
What's happening right now?
40 specific moments, by age, by question, and by what you're seeing at home, plus how to hold your own grief while you're doing this.
Write freely about what this brings up for you.
If it would help, draft your own words for this conversation, in language that fits your child.
I don't know what to say
What's the moment you're in?
40 exact scripts, from the basics like "how are you" to the harder, extended moments when grief takes over mid-conversation and words disappear entirely.
If it would help, draft your own version of this, in your own words.
Am I grieving "wrong"?
What's the worry, exactly?
40 specific worries, and why almost every one of them is actually a normal part of grief. Find whichever one matches what you've been quietly wondering about yourself.
This is educational content, not a diagnosis. If anything here feels bigger than reassurance can fix, that's covered too, and it's always a reasonable time to talk to a professional.
Write freely about what's been on your mind about this.
Write yourself a short permission slip for this specific feeling, in your own words.
The 3am companion
You're awake, and it's too much right now.
That's a real, physical thing happening in your body, not a failure. Stay here a few minutes. We'll go slowly.
A little of why
Why grief seems to wait until dark
During the day you're carried along by distraction: work, conversations, small tasks. Grief researchers describe this as moving back and forth between confronting a loss directly and getting a break from it. Both sides are considered a normal, necessary part of grieving, not one right way and one wrong way.
At night, most of that distraction disappears at once, and your body's stress system is naturally more reactive in the early hours. A feeling that was manageable at 2pm can feel enormous at 2am. That's not a sign you're more broken at night. It's closer to a low tide in your body's ability to buffer big emotion.
None of this means you're grieving wrong by struggling more after dark. It's one of the most consistently reported experiences among people grieving a loss.
Right now
Pick whatever fits tonight
40 tools: ways to name what you're feeling, breathing techniques, grounding, and reflection. Nothing here is the "correct" one to start with.
Before you close your eyes
You made it through this wave.
It will likely come back. That's not a setback, it's just what grief does at night. You don't have to be okay yet. You just have to get through tonight.
If you want, jot a line about what was happening right before tonight's wave hit. Patterns can get easier to spot over time.
If nights like this are happening most nights for weeks, or the waves feel impossible to move through even with support, it can genuinely help to mention this to a grief counselor, therapist, or doctor. That's not a sign you're failing at this. It's just extra support some people benefit from and others don't need.
30 days of micro grief work
Pick a day to open today's work
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Ten minutes a day: memory work, identity rebuilding, and small steps toward living alongside grief instead of "getting over it."
Grief brain fog toolkit
One thing at a time
Forgetting things, losing words, feeling foggy: that's grief affecting your brain, not you "losing it." Grief-related cognitive fog is well documented, and it typically eases over time, even though it can feel disorienting while it's happening. Work through these in any order, or none at all today.
Anything else on your mind you want to get out of your head and onto the page?